It’s a bit dusty in here…

This is one of those places like that quirky shop in town. You know the one – you keep meaning to pop in, but then something comes up and you forget, or run out of time, then promise yourself “next time”. Well I’ve finally stopped by and jeez! I’d best give it a good airing – It’s so fusty and dusty!

Where have I been then?
Well I’ve been to Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa, Tennessee to Tennessee Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devils Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete’s sake
I’ve been everywhere, man
I’ve been everywhere, man
Crossed the desert’s bare, man
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I’ve had my share, man
I’ve been everywhere
Sorry, came over all Johnny Cash for a moment there, my bad!

Anyway… where have I really been? (Resists the temptation to drop in the wheelie bin joke) I’ve been here. Still buggering on, still having the daily battles, still seeing the doc. I now go to a weekly wellbeing session, which is really helping and it’s giving me tools that I can take away.

I guess the biggest change is in the mental balance. I no longer have all the dark thoughts, I no longer wake up feeling disappointed. However, where that has eased off anxiety has pulled its pants over its tights and donned a cape – SuperAnx! Yeah, it’s a bit shit as that type of name goes, but to be honest, I’ve no idea how many of you still come here, so I CBA putting any more effort in until I know it’s worth the effort.

Oh yeah… My mind still drifts off course and gets stuck in the wrong place like a container ship in the Suez Canal.

Anywaaaaaaaay, the anxiety. That’s a real sod at the moment. I made the mistake of not asking it if it was OK to go shopping recently, that was a big mistake. For those of you who know me, this next one will probably be the biggest shock. I’ve not been to a gig since January 2020. (Accepting that for a long time, there were no gigs, but I’m sure you take my point). I had tickets for a gig a few weeks back. Nope. Then on Sunday, one of my favourite bands. A real big nope. REALLY BIG. To the point I’m still trying to level up from it. Do I even try to go in the future? I should, but at the moment I don’t want to think too far ahead. One step at a time I guess.

At this point, I have no idea what the point of the post is. By the way, did I say I had a new doc? I think I may have broken the last one – Sorry, if I did H, but thank you for everything. I truly believe I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you. You are an absolute superstar.
Welcome aboard S-L – I do wonder if you truly know what you’ve signed up for!

Ah! The point!! Yes, it’s Mental Health Awareness Week! I made a jocular remark earlier, which turned into a social media post and really got me thinking about it all again…
Always love it when someone tries to put me down. I’m like:
“Mate, I have high functioning anxiety – I’ve already destroyed myself three times today. You’re not even close. Sit down”

And there it is. The point. (FINALLY! I hear you cry) The point is that we can make a few jokes about it, but the jokes are fundamentally based on what we know.

So if someone you know makes a joke about their mental health, it’s probably from lived experience. If you find it funny, laugh with them. But also ask them how they are. Maybe give the a hug (if appropriate, obviously).
But never, EVER, throw the joke back at them. Not even jokingly. If that makes sense!

That’s it. That’s Ade’s wise words for now. I really will try to stop by a little more often, so keep your eyes peeled for next time the open sign is up and I promise I’ll clean the place up 😉

As always, thanks go to to everyone that helps me. My family, friends, team at work, the support teams. Most of all though, the volunteers that give up their time from their lives to help complete strangers like me. Give them a thought too – they are outstanding.

And remember, Talk to someone and ask for help. There’s no shame in it and it will help.

Be kind to each other
Ade xx

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